March 20, 2011

Ethics and Purity Reclaimed


            I can’t even begin to tell all of you how grateful I am for the opportunity to speak in front of this beautiful audience today. While I don’t usually attend speak publicly at political activist campaigns, I feel like this issue has persisted for too long, and deserves my utmost attention. Never again should a child be subjected to parents of two different races, or have to endure the pain and humiliation of being born a half-blood. My name is Cassandra Gedrarian – though most of you know me by name online name, Cassy Gregarious – and I am pro-pure marriage!

            My stance stems from a very personal story. I grew up in a loving, open, Christian family with lots of communication and mutual respect, but as I grew up and moved through my public school system, I started to notice trends. My parents have always commended me for being observant, so it came as no shock to them when I came home one day, exclaiming that all the ethnic minorities at my school tended to do worse in school, and the ones that did do better than the normal kids were always really weird on the playground, and were much more interested in their comic books and plastic dolls. I of course was in a much more open environment with my parents, so I didn’t have to use the same politically correct language I’m using before you all here today. I would like to take a moment to consider what freedom of speech really means here. If I want to use a word that doesn’t punch anyone in the face, or go against what the majority of those people are like, what’s the harm? I’m being limited up here, folks, but I’ll do my best to keep on, and I know that with your support we can fix what it means to have a true, loving marriage before the eyes of the Lord Almighty! I’m speaking in terms of ethics, here, not morals. While I don’t consider it a moral act to have a white man take on a yellow wife, that’s only my opinion. I don’t have any right to impose my moral system on anyone else no matter how right it may be, but when you look at it from the perspective of ethics, it makes much more sense for me to denounce this evil that has plagued our society for far too long: is it fair to subject the two people in that sham marriage to the scorn and disapproval of decent members of society? Furthermore, is it fair to birth a child knowing that it will be an uncategorizable half-breed? If a child doesn’t know their own race, how are they supposed to know where they belong?
            Don’t get me wrong; I’m not a racist. I’m only concerned for preserving the natural order of society, and life. Different races are proven to perform differently in school, in the workplace, and in general. I’m not saying any one race is better than the other – Asians are in fact smarter than white people! Would a racist say that? I don’t think so, Mr. Accusing Finger-Pointer. My point here is that everyone has a unique place in the world, and by merging two of these expectations, a child has no idea what to do with their lives! Can a boy be a good businessman if he’s partly of a race that doesn’t follow our standards of punctuality and etiquette? Can a girl be a good mother and housewife if half of her genes say that she’s more likely to abandon her children and run off with the next Julio or Esteban that sweeps her off her feet? These are questions I ask each of you to think about long and hard tonight as you prepare your evening dinner. It’s hard living in a white man’s world, and making it out in that dangerous world means committing to all your resources. As a woman, I can relate to ethnic minorities! If homosexuals weren’t sinners, I would say they have it best: women make less money than men, and I’ve faced gender discrimination enough times to want to punch the next man who isn’t my husband that calls me sweet cheeks!
            As I grew up and learned even more about how the world works, I got tougher, and figured out what was causing so much heartache among my classmates. I believe in the public school system as a useful education tool, and it exposes our morally starving nation’s youth to everything they ought to. Hiding our children away in fancy private schools does have its merits – keeping like with like makes sure that our children don’t fall to the obvious sins of intermarriage, homosexual interests, and abortions, but I think sending my children to schools where they can actually see these travesties is making them stronger too. There’s no point in denying the ugly truth: people are born sinners, and need help to become holy enough to reach eternal salvation!
            Excuse me – I promised myself I would keep my religious views out of this. I don’t want to sink to the level of atheists, who blame our differences in values on religion. I have news for all those atheists out there: this isn’t about religion; it’s about protecting our children, and protecting our families! I wish nothing but the best for all those lost souls, and that’s why I’m out here promoting the right way to live. It’s amazing how some people can lose sight of what’s clearly been natural to humans throughout the course of evolutionary history. That’s right, atheists, I believe in evolution! God made this world and us in his image, but as humans, we’re changing what it means to be humans. From the conception of original sin, we’ve started changing, slowly but surely. Did you know people used to be on average a foot shorter a hundred years ago? Just because I know we didn’t come from monkeys, that doesn’t mean I’m blind to how right Darwin partially was! Black babies aren’t born from white parents, and stupid babies aren’t born from smart parents – unless they have an unfortunate birth defect, which ties in nicely with another speech of mine about loving your unborn child no matter what it’ll be able to do when it’s born! My point is, change only happens when humans start to interfere with what we’re naturally supposed to do. Survival of the fittest is turning into survival of whatever we arbitrarily decide is the fittest. God knows when you’re going to those demon clinics, ladies!
            As a contributing member of society, I see what the halfers of my youth have become. Using the universal scientific language of statistics, those unfortunate children born out of a sinful marriage are more likely to be on the streets by the time they’re 18, end up in the lowest income brackets in staggeringly high numbers, and are much more likely to end up in the hospital – or in the cemetery – by their 30th birthday. What kind of life is that? It’s nothing I would ever choose for a child, and any adult or prospective parent that doesn’t agree with me on that point should seriously get their marriage license torn up ASAP. They think they know so much about the world and how it ought to be, but I think we need to focus on what’s wrong and what’s worth keeping in the here and now. Like I’ve already said, I’m a tolerant woman, and didn’t even mind when my son came home after school the other day and asked if he could have dinner at a black boy’s house later that week. After confirming that the family lived in a safe neighbourhood and would be feeding him a nutritious meal, I had absolutely no problem with him going over! The family clearly had risen above their stereotypes, and learned how to function in decent society. If my son came home later and said he wanted to go on a play date with that boy’s sister, now that would be a different story. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the family; I actually had a nice chat with the mother that evening when I picked my son up from dinner, and found her to be quite charming, if not a little overenthusiastic about the little things. But giving my son the impression that it’s okay to be romantic with another race would only confuse him, and distract him from all the nice white girls that are sitting at home, sighing because no one wants to ask them out. I know I got lucky with my husband! He was quite the bombshell in high school, and all the Latina ladies fought to keep each other’s hands off of his tan, dark-eyed figure. The entire time, I knew he only had eyes for me, and I want a story just like that for my children. Interacting with other races lets you see what works and doesn’t work for you, and I hope that black boy form my son’s class finds a lovely black girl, and they move to a neighbourhood even nicer and cleaner than the one his parents lived in!
            If it isn’t already obvious to all of you how awful intermarriage would be, consider two of my lost friends that recently entered a mixed race marriage. Joseph Carlton and Evangelina Aracosta met each other in college, and became infatuated at first sight. I’m saying infatuated, not love, because true love can only show itself between a man and a woman of the same race. Regardless, true love isn’t a necessary condition for marriage – a tragedy in its own right! – so the two wound up hitched in what may as well have a been a Vegas shotgun wedding. The two had a beautiful baby girl that they names Maria Christina, after Evangelina’s mother and grandmother, and if you didn’t know she was a blended baby you would swear she was the cutest little burrito you’ve ever seen! Unfortunately, being born to parents not only from separate cultures, but also of such a young age, Maria Christina started life off on two wrong feet. She was teased in school for her lineage, and was harassed almost daily. The most popular question people asked her was if she was her own housekeeper when she stayed in hotels. Even I feel the sting of these words, but as the years went on, the harassment worsened, and the day before her sixteenth birthday, Maria Christina ran away from home, and was never found. I pray every night that she isn’t one of the women I see prowling the streets for a living, but I guess I’ll never know. The loss of their child tore Evangelina and Joseph apart, and now the two are ruins of their former selves. Both have lost the ability to love, but out of it all, they’ve learned a valuable lesson. I love both of these poor souls, and when I’m not praying for the safe livelihood of their daughter, I pray that they can each find a love to help them out of this bottomless depression.
            Before I step down from this podium and leave you to continue your daily affairs, I would like to make one more point that not even the most educated of my opposition can argue: extra-racial marriage has shown to produce higher rates of babies with prenatal disorders. Evidence shows this clearly, and if people want their abortions so badly, maybe they should look at what’s causing all these new reasons to strip a poor fetus of its soul. If we can put a stop to something as innocuous as interracial marriage – and premarital sex, while we’re at it – then we can see another societal evil reduced. Who doesn’t want a better, more pure society? I know the atheists and other sinners claim society doesn’t have to be pure anymore, and that it isn’t a necessary part of economic expansion and global development, but do you really think a happy planet would produce more severe earthquakes in the past year than it has in recent history? Thank you for your time, and the next time polls open for your local elections, make sure the candidate you’re voting for will bring the right values back into public office.
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